


Nights of Venom and Blood

by CrucioAndCoffee



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls Online
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Non-binary character, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Vampires mentioned, Whumptober, implied PTSD, they/them pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 08:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20871212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrucioAndCoffee/pseuds/CrucioAndCoffee
Summary: Jhyn avoided sleep until sleep deprivation reminded them exactly what they were running from. To no one’s surprise; it was their past.Whumptober prompt: shaking hands





	Nights of Venom and Blood

**Author's Note:**

  * For [intheinkpot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/intheinkpot/gifts).

> So, this takes place in a fic I’m currently trying to write. Thought this would be a good opportunity to share a little bit of it even if it’s out of context. Introduce y’all and such. I’m working on the long fic best I can but I can’t estimate when I’ll get it out there.
> 
> Also the title is from a song from the ESO soundtrack you need to listen to. Beauty of Dawn.

Jhyn shifted endlessly in bed whilst trying not to wake their love. Ayrenn has been through enough and had earned her much needed rest. They, on the other hand, did not. A few sleepless nights wouldn’t hurt them, but how many nights had it been by now? Still, no sleep was preferred to the nightmares.

War never ended, and the Princes never pause their scheming.

They leaned on their side and watched Ayrenn sleep—along with every possible entrance to the chamber. One might call Jhyn paranoid, but after narrowly escaping death, they watched every shadow knowing the horrors that could lurk within. 

Thankfully Ayrenn didn’t stir, even as Jhyn gently brushed back her blonde hair—only smiled in her peace as their fingers brushed her cheek. 

Jhyn did no such thing. 

Their eyes focused on scars cut across Ayrenn’s cheek, and the jagged puncture wounds on her neck, biting back tears to the best of their ability. It had been almost two years, but they weren’t over it. Ayrenn is too good-hearted and stubborn for her own well-being to be troubled by that battle. Instead loomed over Jhyn’s shoulders with the rest of their troubles and guilts.

With a soft kiss placed on Ayrenn’s forehead, Jhyn snuck out from under the covers. They winced with the cold stones touching their feet. It bit their skin like ice. 

Even with the dim lantern light of the Alinor streets below, it was too dark to see. If Jhyn hadn’t memorized the path to the washroom by now; they may have missed their night vision. Quietly, they snuck to the wash without a sound and closed the heavy door behind them only to pause anxiously at the thought of being alone in the dark. Jhyn shuffled back and forth inches from the door; fearful of letting go of the handle. Would the shadows swallow them up? 

Jhyn breathed and took in the quiet and unusually chilled evening. A chill passed over their back and around their torso in a haunting embrace. It touched their black handprint tattoos, but was it a warning or comfort? 

It was still dark beyond sight, and they put their faith in the Void would not be beckoning to them that night. Their calloused fingers traced over the stone and wooden furniture, and the gilded trim embedded in all of it. Even with no light, they could see the extravagant designs both they and Ayrenn hated. Altmer were almost as pretentious as they were conceited, but luckily some knew what humility was… such as Ayrenn. Though Jhyn would never argue when gifted with a beautiful new gown that hugged their frame and helped accentuate their curves. 

Jhyn tsked, breaking their thoughts back to the darkness at hand and wishing they were better with magic. Perhaps they did miss their night vision more than they realized. Then their fingers brushed against something soft and flaking to the touch.

“Finally, a damn candle.” 

The kindling for it wasn’t more than arms reach away, and Jhyn struck and lit the wick, fumbling with coordination like they’d never used their hands before. The smell of fire and other herbs followed the smoke up into the room. Hopefully, it wouldn’t wake Ayrenn. It did waft in their face and smack them with a headache. They sat down on the stone tub before falling, though it wouldn’t be that far of a fall. 

Jhyn held their middle and stared at the floor—compulsively rubbing the silky fabric of their nightdress. They came in the damn washroom to look in the mirror and wake up, but now they’d rather stare at the floor and shake. They slowly counted their breaths. In for five seconds, and out for seven. They’ve fought at least two Gods. Why was this so hard!

They stood and used the stool to glance at themselves in the mirror. 

“Everything is too fucking tall—“

Jhyn choked on their words. The image of Ayrenn’s scars flashed in their mind with their reflection being the cause. They never wanted to see those ghostly eyes or that dead bone blanched skin again. Jhyn bit their lip as hard as they could, but their teeth were as regular as could be. Not fangs. Thankfully not fangs.

Guilt gripped their lungs and crushed their heart. It fluttered in their chest, trying to gain its freedom. Jhyn splashed cold water from the basin on their face to no effect. Nausea threatened their throat and clogged it. 

“Des?” came a soft and tired voice. 

When did Ayrenn wake up? Why didn’t they hear that heavy door open? They couldn’t think clearly enough to put words together, only open and close their mouth while staring down at their warped reflection in the water. But was it warped? Or was it real? 

Ayrenn called them their real name though, or their nickname of their real name. Not Jhyn. Not the temporary bandage to their amnesia. That had to mean that the monster staring back at them wasn’t real. Not anymore. The vampire was gone. Relief washed over them as Ayrenn hastily hooked her arms around them for a hug. She took their hands in hers, and a solace expression wrinkled the corners of her lips. 

“Your hands are shaking… and your cold like you were left in the snow—“

“Like death,” Jhyn snapped.

She planted a kiss on Jhyn’s forehead. Her lips were soft, and so was the kiss, a gesture to the kindness they both needed after endless turmoil. 

Ayrenn spoke quietly like to not disturb a sleeping child. “I told you before. I forgive you. You fought against Naemon’s control. You didn’t want to do it.”

“I almost killed you!” Jhyn didn’t care if their voice cracked or if they cried. Their shoulders hurt from shaking and trying to stand strong. Jhyn shoved Ayrenn away, but she snapped back into place; hugging them tightly. Her fingers brushed through their short hair and cradled their head. She kissed the top of their hair.

“But you didn’t. The times you saved me out number that.” Ayrenn tipped their chin up. “In more ways than you know.” 

Jhyn hopped up to grapple Ayrenn around the neck and kiss her. The Queen’s arms wrapped tightly around them as she kissed them back, desperate and apologetic. She smiled as she kissed them, and pulled Jhyn tight against her chest. They gripped onto her for dear life.

“I love you,” they whispered against her. 

Ayrenn kissed their cheek and set them down. Her hand traced their deltoid lazily down to their hands, and she tucked their dark brown hair behind their ear. “You’re perfect the way you are. Even back then. My beautiful bosmeri fiancée.”

Jhyn smiled at the touch and turned it into a smirk as they caught Ayrenn’s glance. “Now, Ayrenn that lusty gaze is very unfitting for a Queen.” 

“It’s a gift that we’re alone right now, isn’t it?” Ayrenn thumbed over their hand and cheek. “You’re still shaking…”

They forced a smile. “I’ll be fine. I always am.”


End file.
